Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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