just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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