can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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