would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
