They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize