I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
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You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
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I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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