he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
