sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize