David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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