You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
