Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
