I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
