hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I fill condoms, not promises.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
