cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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