He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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