if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I didn't notice because vodka
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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