Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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