So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
