So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my sisters under your porch take her home
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night