Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
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I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle