my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.