scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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