i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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