I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
