i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
