Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
