I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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