i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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