I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i drank out of a bidet.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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