My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
