He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
