i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
