i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
