oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
