We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
