Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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