'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Holy shit dude........stairs
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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