if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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