Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
