Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
