I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
