If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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