I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
