K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize