I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he thought i was a dude.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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