OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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