I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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