all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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