They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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