I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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