I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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