I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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