Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
What drink are we having for lunch?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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