i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
