3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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