trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize