i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
