I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
