i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How does one acquire holy water?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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