we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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