i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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